Haters and Hateful People At Work
Are haters just hateful people or is there a difference between someone being a hater and
someone being a hateful person?
Based on experience and many encounters with these individuals, it seems that haters are not necessarily hateful and hateful people don't always act out in the same manner as a hater does.
Let's start with some basic definitions and then discuss similarities and differences between the two.
Haters are individuals who tend to have Hate for others. Hate for them is reflected in intense hostility and aversion towards another person usually derived from fear, anger, envy or sense of injury. Within a hater's psyche he or she feels envy or have feelings of unhappiness, discontentment or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, reputation or good fortune. Haters tear down others to feel better about themselves and to make the others feel worse about themselves. Haters see others as their enemies and aren't satisfied until as many people as possible share their thoughts.
Hateful people tend to have less envy or Hate and more Hatred which is prejudiced hostility or animosity than haters. For hateful people their hatred is derived from prejudice or a preconceived and often illogical opinion that is not based on sound reasoning and actual experience. Hateful people tend to make up the ists - racists, sexists, agists and so on. Hateful people tend to have animosity or a feeling of strong dislike, ill will or enemity that tends to knowingly or subconciouslly display itself in their actions and speech. Hateful people tend to be extremly antagonistic. Hateful people innately show hostility and act out by not being friendly, hospitable, warm or generous to those they hate. They can be outright evil and extremely mean.
Similarities Between Haters and Hateful People:
- They both have extreme dislike or disgust for their subject.
- They both see their subject as an enemy.
- They both see their subject as a potential threat.
- They both see their subject as a cause of their lack of happiness and success.
- They both try to minimize others presence and put them down
- They both have a psychological mindset of lack and scarcity (they don't believe everyone can win)
- They're both trying to protect their level of significance, importance, control or wealth
- Wrong or right they're projecting their level of awareness and their realities
- They both are mean spirited.
- They both can be bold and extremely disrespectful.
- They both can be illogical in their thoughts and actions.
- They're both unfriendly and can be antagonistic
- They're both unwelcoming
- They both can unjustly blame others for their problems
- They both want to put one in his or her place
- They both defer to a strategy of exclusion
- They're both dangerous to encounter
- They both may act out in an effort to gain acceptance of others
- For both types the subject of their hate or hatred shouldn't take it personally
Differences Between Haters and Hateful People:
- Haters tend to know or have at least met their subjects. Hateful people can exhibit hate towards their subjects without knowing or having ever met them. Hateful people hate people based on the people being a member of a group that they hate.
- Haters feel power by traveling in packs whereas hateful people can easily work alone. Haters aren't happy unless they can turn others against you.
- Haters need an audience and hateful people don't. Haters need external validation.
- Haters are loud and boisterous about their hate whereas hateful people tend to work more in silence (think of a TV gossip show expose versus KKK)
- Haters tend to have conscious reasoning no matter how illogical to justify their hate. Hateful people tend to derive their hate unknowingly. Many hateful people are hateful based on how they were raised. They can't really trace back why they feel how they feel.
- Haters have fear, resentment and envy that drives their actions whereas hateful people can be hateful because it's who they are. Hateful people don't need recent events as justification to be hateful.
- Haters embody a "misery love company" mindset. If a hater isn't happy they can only be around others who aren't happy. Hateful people are not necessarily miserable they're often very successful and happy but don't believe others can be based on prejudices.
- Haters have more of a de facto mindset and hateful people have more of a de jure mindset.
- Haters act off of a "others should or shouldn't be able to and woe is me" mentality whereas Hateful People act off of an "others are incapable of doing something because they of the group they belong to" mentality
- Haters tend to want to be you hateful people don't believe you should want to be you
- Haters are secret admirers hateful people tend to hate not admire their subjects
- Haters get their kicks out of hurting other people sometimes hateful people do too
- Haters can't get enough of their whereas hateful people tend to want to be segregated from their subject
- Haters feel inferior and are trying to feel superior to their subject, Hateful people feel superior and want to keep their subjects from feeling anything except inferior to them
- Haters more often than not act out of weakness, fear, intimidation whereas hateful people are just hateful and act out of a false sense of entitled and assumed strength.
- Haters whether just or not feel intimidated and trying to intimidate others while hateful people are always the intimidator
- Haters feel like everyone is in competition with them even when the hater is no where near the other person's level
- Haters need external validation whereas hateful people may or may not need the validation of others
- Haters are going along with a crowd to keep the tables from turning on them; sometimes hateful people do the same but most of the time they are strong enough to stand alone
- Haters are inauthentic, they will do anything to be accepted and feel worthy; Hateful people could care less of what others think about them
- Haters aren't happy when you are on a higher level than them they work to bring everyone down to size
Regardless of which you encounter, stay in peace. If necessary, report them to local authorities or when at work report them to management and HR. If they are management and HR then as soon as feasibly possibly get out of there. Forgive them, pray for them and stay in peace.