First Step to Surviving Haters and Hateful People At Your Place Of Work and Employment
Recognize When Haters and Hateful People are Operating In Your Midst
Don't make the mistake of
not recognizing when there are haters and hateful people in your midst.
Picture this. You are under constant attack but have done absolutely nothing wrong. What is going on? Have haters and hateful people infiltrated your workplace?
Examine these 3 Scenarios
Kim while walking down the hall at work, minding her own business trying to make it to a meeting, catches Bob in Accounting giving her a look that could kill. This isn't the first time she had caught Bob passing evil stares her way and she couldn't help but to wonder why. She thought to herself "What did I do to Bob? Does he look at everyone like that or did I accidentally offend him somehow? We don't even know each other well. We have never had any real work interaction." A couple days later she passes by the breakroom when she hears Bob telling another executive "We need to be careful of people like Kim. We can't trust her. I'm going to have to have my assistant keep an eye on her."
Mary and Celosa were colleagues. They worked at the same place. They truly didn't know one another as their work didn't overlap. Mary outranked Celosa in terms of salary and position but in Celosa's mind they were on the same level. Unbeknowst to Mary, shortly after her arrival, her boss and other members of the executive management team had given Celosa the task of "keeping an eye" on Mary. One day Mary's boss slipped up and told her so. Mary thought whatever and let it go.
Celosa was very mean to Mary while Mary just looked at Celosa as another person who happened to be there. A person occupying space. Celosa was fully invested in everything that Mary said and did. Celosa was very disrespectful to Mary yet Mary paid Celosa no mind which made Celosa very upset. Mary would overhear Celosa trash talking her and would catch her rolling her eyes and passing evil looks whenever she would pass by. Whenever anyone new would join the firm, Celosa made it her business to attempt to turn them against Mary. She would gossip, lie and let it be known to stay away from Mary. Mary continued to stay in peace. Mary tried her best to avoid Celosa but Celosa was bold. She would invade Mary's workspace and do all sort of nonsense to elicit a reaction. Mary refused to give Celosa evil self a reaction.
In Celosa's mind Mary didn't deserve her position. Where Celosa came from people like Mary didn't rise through the ranks. To Celosa, it seemed unfair. Although Celosa had no education to first and a resume that didn't compare to even half a bullet point of Mary's, Celosa thought, "How could it be that I have to do such menial tasks and Mary gets paid for what appears to be not working at all." Celosa felt that she deserved more and that if she succeeded in destroying Mary by turning others against her and getting her fired that she would have more happiness and success. Celosa foolishly felt that if Mary were to go away that she would finally get the respect that she deserved.
Now Celosa had been at the firm much longer than Mary. The management team had Celosa doing their dirty work literally and figuratively since she got there. Clearly, Celosa was illogical and had misplaced anger. She was a gossip, an instigator, a stalker, a trash collector, a janitor, a maid, a cook, a handyman and errand boy and not much more. Celosa admirably did whatever was needed to be done whether it was morally sound or not.
Mary knew Celosa had a hard home life. She had less than a decade to retirement, was the sole bread winner and was willing to do anything to keep a job including destroying another. Celosa made it clear to Mary how she felt but Mary refuesed to treat or look at her the same in return. Mary didn't believe in repaying evil with evil. Mary felt sorry for Celosa. She pitied her.
Mary knew that Celosa was misguided in her anger and opinions.Celosa couldn't do Mary's job if she tried. Mary knew that Celosa's actions were rooted in jealousy, insecurity, weakness, fear and hate. Although Celosa kept Mary's name in her mouth, Mary knew that she had more strength in the nail of her pinky toe than Celosa had in her entire being. Celosa couldn't walk 10 steps in Mary shoes.
Mary didn't need to validate her worth or being to Celosa. To Mary, Celosa was a non factor, a worthless distraction. Although Celosa constantly tried to discredit Mary, Mary knew her accomplishments and frankly speaking so did everyone else. Mary knew that she would continue to rise even further with or without the approval of Celosa or anyone else for that matter. Mary knew that she couldn't let Celosa bait her into conflict and nonsense. Mary was not willing to allow Celosa's hatred to disturb her peace. Mary was above Celosa's worthless drama. Mary prayed for Celosa but refused to give Celosa another second of her time or an ounce of her energy.
Keyshia was bad as in amazing. She was a phenominal woman. When she walked into a room, heads turned. She had the brains to match the beauty. A couple of Master's degrees and years of experience in her field. She wasn't the most sociable however and was very careful with whom she shared her energy with. When she went to work, Keyshia wanted to work not fratanize. A few ladies at her office felt snubbed by Keyshia after she refused to hang out with them or play in any of their shady two faced triffling games. Keyshia didn't necessarily have anything against them they just weren't her crowd.
The women would chatter "How dare she act like she is better than us?" While Keyshia overhead them, she didn't pay it in any mind. These women went out of their way to pay Keyshia back for snubbing them. They would encamp around Keyshia in her workspace and taunt her. They would talk at her. Keyshia learned that whenever she saw them coming to put her headphones on or where possible to just get up and walk away. She would turn up the music in her headphones as loud as possible to tune them out. Keyshia didn't want their negative energy and disrespectful antics to upset her so she would mentally and emotionally disengage.
The problem was the more Keyshia disengaged the worse their taunting and bullying attacks became. These women would trash talk Keyshia to many executives. These executives were extremely hateful and wanted Keyshia out but Keyshia did her job very well. Now let's note that the executives weren't only listening to what the women were saying but also the executives were old as dirt and no matter how they tried to camoflougue it, most of them had many racists, sexist, hateful, disgusting prejudiced ways.
Recently, Keyshia felt the women coming towards her, so she put on her music to tune them out. They became louder and more numerous. Several hateful men joined them and began to hatefully taunt Keyshia. Keyshia began to cower but refused to cry. The worst they got the louder Keyshia music got. As Keyshia cowered and tried to ignore them she began to silently pray. She prayed that they would just go away. She prayed for strength to withstand their evil attacks. She prayed for God to make another way. She prayed for courage. She prayed for peace. She prayed that God would change their wicked ways.
Eventually, they left from Keyshia's workspace but the verbal attacks continued. Keyshia tried to report it to her boss but he was over there laughing with the ladies and gents about what they had done to Keyshia. He was just as no good. HR within their firm was known to be no better than Keyshia's boss. They were all triffling. Keyshia had nowhere to turn. Everyday Keyshia cringed at the thought of going back there. The overall environment not just those women was toxic.
Have you ever experienced anything similar to either of the 3 scenarios outlined? Which characters can you relate most to? What advice do you have for the people in each scenario? Is there anything they could've done better?